User talk:Ratman20
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:13a79c63bf341a8d002cc3e1855f8cc0.png page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:47, August 4, 2014 (UTC) Don't Don't remove the marked for review category, especially not without fixing what was wrong (walls of text). ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 22:15, August 4, 2014 (UTC) :Your story has massive walls of text. Break it up with paragraphs. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 00:47, August 5, 2014 (UTC) Marked for Review Don't remove the M4R as only admins and VCROC(K)s are allowed to remove it. We have it this way so we can do quality checks, solve issues the author may have missed, remove coding problems. You've been warned once of this. Now you are being given a three hour ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:11, August 5, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:52, November 30, 2014 (UTC) Story. There were quite a number of issues here. Starting with the smaller things. "Me and a friend..." should be My friend and I. Minor redundancies: "...that would either show up as a ghost, showing (appearing) up and vanishing down a corridor,"Additionally "saturday" and "sunday" should be capitalized and you shouldn't begin sentences with conjunctions. (But, because, and) Onto larger issues: wording ("His name was 6-Tears-6-Blood-6. (not going to comment on that) He was one of those weird creepy guys that constantly talk (talked) about weird shit, wit with the work he showed...", "a couple thing’s." and "thing’s change" (no apostrophe needed as things is plural and isn't a possessive), capitalization ("Models", "Fuck", etc.) punctuation issues like periods outside of quotations, "It’s a mess”. "“You shouldn’t have done that”(period missing)" and commas missing where needed. "Wait(,) wait(,) wait.. What?!?!?!?" (Additionally one set of question marks and exclamation marks work just fine. Adding more just comes off as distracting.) Also you are missing apostrophes from a few contractions. ("thats" should be that's.) Finally there is some plot issues. You state the year as 2011 at the start, but at the end (in the news report "Two 16 year old boys went missing from their houses at approximately 3:15 AM on October 18, 2014.") To wrap it up, I would also caution against wrapping up a story with a newspaper article. Especially one that doesn't seem to be written like an article. "May god be with you all." (Newspapers tend to shy away from religious references.) Those were a few of the issues I found looking over your story. I would suggest using the writer's workshop next time for more in-depth assistance on your next story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:27, December 1, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:37, December 1, 2014 (UTC) RE: Unfortunately you caught me right as I'm heading off to work so this will have to be quick. It didn't meet quality standards. You overuse ellipses. 25+ times, sometimes even outside of dialogue (Where their original use is.) The title was also incorrect, but that's a small issue. (Anxiety, Dreams, And (and) Other Horrors) Punctuation issues: punctuation missing from dialogue. “You’re the best babe”, “Well(,) are you going to eat or what?”, "Fine, I’ll go play with Harold”, "(")‘It’s me… Harold.”, “Better catch me before they go away” Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "Its (it's) dark...". Capitalization issues. “Daddy, Help! (help!)”, "I wake up in a beading sweat, Groggy (sic) from the previous dream..." Phrasing issues: "With my wife sunken into his body like a lost boy finding his mother. (really wouldn't use that analogy when describing sex) The covers were over them but it didn’t take long to know what was going on. I wake up feeling colder than usual, sweat beading down my face and my heart beating faster than a marching band." (You can also state that it's a nightmare to prevent readers from jumping to conclusions and build on the nightmare premise.) Wish I had more time, but I have to head out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:23, January 23, 2015 (UTC) :I would suggest taking it to the Writer's Workshop. Unfortunately to re-post your story (unless it is drastically altered) you need to do a Deletion Appeal. Re-uploading it without doing that could lead to someone deleting it again, thinking it was re-uploaded with the same issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:55, January 23, 2015 (UTC)